Comfortably Numb
by phoenixreal
Summary: Canon Divergent: After losing his powers, Ichigo ends up losing himself. After going to Tokyo to University, he stops communicating with anyone from home, and quickly drops out of school and disappears into the city. When a bored ex-espada finds his way into the World of the Living, he ends up trying to figure out what happened to the Shinigami he enjoyed fighting so much. YAOI
1. White Devil Dragon

**Comfortably Numb**

* * *

A/N: Okay, here's another one. Hope you enjoy drug addicted Ichigo and super protective Grimmjow.

Okay, so first, I'm using two phrases I made up. I looked for translations and stuff, but I have no idea if they are right. PLEASE let me know if I've got them wrong.

The drug is called "White Devil Dragon" and the closest translation I came up with was Hakumaryuu (thanks to a reviewer on ao3). So if someone has a better translation, please let me know.

Also, the term Rinkan-bo I found around the nets, so I have NO idea if it means what I said it does.

If anyone has any better ideas for either of these, leave me a comment please.

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 _White Devil Dragon_

* * *

It was no use being king of a place that was dead. Grimmjow had grown bored quickly with the nothingness of Hueco Mundo. After time passed, he left, simply walking into the World of the Living and wandering. He had an old relic of Aizen's days, a spiritual energy masking device, and he figured he'd make use of it. He figured that visiting the World of the Living would be more interesting than watching hollows fight each other. He sighed and wandered Karakura Town. He didn't want to admit it, but he was looking for Kurosaki. He'd heard that he lost his powers after he defeated Aizen, and he believed it, since he couldn't sense his spiritual presence anywhere. He followed the paths until he ended up at a place where there was a large amount of spiritual energy.

"What are you doing here?" came a voice behind him.

Grimmjow turned and saw the pale blonde haired Shinigami in the green and white bucket hat. He grinned at him. "Just looking around. Got bored in Hueco Mundo. Don't worry, I'm not after anyone."

Urahara nodded. "Well, just know that if you do anything here, we'll know about it."

Grimmjow snorted. "Not like I can do much around here but look. No body, remember?"

Urahara frowned and tilted his head to the side. "Tell me why you're here?"

"I just did."

"No, you didn't, not really. You didn't come to someplace like this to wander about aimlessly. What are you looking for?" he asked, frowning deeply at him.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes. "Well, I thought I'd see what happened to Kurosaki. I mean, he's a damn fine fighter and all. Figured he'd be around maybe."

Urahara's face fell. "You won't find him here," he said with a sigh. "He's been gone for almost a year now to school in Tokyo. He refuses to come back even for breaks, his father says. I would go and visit him, but when he left he told us to leave him be."

Grimmjow frowned at him. "Really? That doesn't sound right for him to leave everyone behind like that. I mean, he fucking nearly died trying to get the woman back from Aizen-teme."

Urahara shook his head. "He didn't deal well with the loss of his powers. I've tried several times to reach out to him, but he's shut me off every time. He's done the same with his father and sisters. He's nineteen now, it isn't like Isshin can do anything if he doesn't want to come home again."

Grimmjow tilted his head to the side and thought. "Huh. Maybe I'll go annoy him. Well, wait, he doesn't have his power, so he can't see me anyway, huh?"

Urahara looked at him then smiled. "Come in, Grimmjow-san, I think I can fix that problem."

Several hours later, Grimmjow stood outside the shoten rubbing the spot his hollow hole should have been on his body. He looked at Urahara. "What the hell did you call this?"

"A Gigai. Here," he said and handed him a soul candy dispenser that looked like Chappie but it had the colors inverted. "If you need to get out in your spiritual form, swallow one of these. These don't put soul in your place, though, so the Gigai will just drop to the ground like a dead body, so don't leave it just anywhere."

Grimmjow nodded, rubbing his face where the mask should have been now. "So, um, I just walk or what? I don't know much about the World of the Living and shit."

Urahara smiled. "Here," he said, handing him a wallet. "It has some cards that you can use to buy things with, but please, don't go overboard, only what you need. Don't worry, Grimmjow-san, just act like you don't understand the language, and most people will help you out. It works a great many times around here. No go, Tokyo awaits! Also, it is a nice place to visit and learn about Human ways."

Grimmjow nodded as he thumbed through it. Several plastic cards, a few pictures of some sort in a little thing to hold them, and a piece of paper with numbers and names. Urahara handed him a phone and nodded. "The cards are money, so if something asks you to pay for it, then that's what you use. The pictures are of people you might want to find, and the paper has phone numbers in case you need to contact me or someone on that list. Now, off you go to Tokyo!"

"What about getting to this Tokyo?"

"Go down to the train station and buy a ticket, now get on, before you grow roots here," Urahara said and pushed him off. He watched him go and felt a presence beside him.

"You think he might be able to help him?" Yoruichi asked softly as she watched the once sixth Espada saunter off in jeans and a t-shirt that Urahara had put on the Gigai.

"I don't know," he said softly. "I didn't tell him the truth."

"I know, I heard what you told him. You didn't lie," she said with a sigh. "You just didn't give him all the information. Have you heard from Isshin lately?"

Urahara shook his head. "No, he said he was going to be gone at least a week this time. Trying to get Ichigo out of this has turned out to be much harder than he anticipated. He's managed to find him twice since he started making the trips to Tokyo. Both times he refused to even speak to him. He says he isn't going to stop trying to get his son back, even though the boy he found in Tokyo doesn't much resemble the Ichigo we remember."

"I don't understand how things could have gone this wrong," Yoruichi said with a sigh. "No one noticed he needed help until it was too late. How was everyone blind?"

Urahara shook his head. "Ichigo hid what was happening well. No one suspected anything until he was already gone to Tokyo and Isshin found the evidence in his things. By that point, he'd gone off grid completely."

"What was it that he found exactly?" she asked as they turned and returned inside the shoten.

"Looked like heroine and hydrocodone. I have no idea where he got hold of that here in Karakura Town, but Isshin couldn't find whoever it was that had been selling to him. He just found a couple of empty packets with traces inside them, and one empty pill bottle that had the name stripped off it."

"Should we do anything else?" Yoruichi asked as she sat down at the table with Urahara.

"I've tried twice, too, he refused to leave with me," he said with a sigh. "I wanted to see, but he in no uncertain terms told me to leave him alone. In quite colorful language that I am unsure where he picked up."

"We could just make him come back," she said and looked at him as he sipped his tea.

"Do you really want to push him? He could continue on this self-destructive path a lot of different ways. He looked quite willing to take drastic measures if pushed. You know how stubborn that boy is. That will never change, Shinigami or no," Urahara said with a deep sigh.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Grimmjow didn't know what to think as he rode the bus through the World of the Living. It was indeed an interesting experience. It had taken a bit to figure out how things worked at the train station, but he found out if he acted like he didn't speak the language, people would help him. He'd seen several interesting humans, and a couple milling Shinigami. They didn't pick up on him due to the reiatsu suppressor, of course, a fact he felt incredibly amused by. He thought about fucking with them, but decided against it. The crazy ass geta bishi might have been willing to let him wander about, but other Shinigami might not have been so willing. He had no idea where to start looking for the stupid brat. He decided that the school he was supposed to be at would be the best place to start.

It was early in the day so he stopped a passerby and asked where the school was. He got directions and easily figured out the bus system. He found himself at the school and asked around for him. He was told to go to the office and see if he was enrolled and if they could have him called. He found out when he got there that Ichigo had been enrolled, but he wasn't anymore. They wouldn't tell him anything else, of course, just that he wasn't there now. For some reason, the hat wearing shinigami's insistence he come looking for Ichigo had made him decide to do it. Something about the way he just handed him everything like that and didn't say anything about an Espada that tried to kill Ichigo before to be looking for him. But he'd been unable to find him at this school.

Well, that blew, he thought to himself as he leaned against the wall and thought about options. He guessed he could just explore this place. It seemed like a lot different than Hueco Mundo or Karakura Town. He looked up as he heard a couple of students walking toward him talking.

"I thought the prof was gonna blow a gasket. Another one leaving class suddenly?" the girl said to the boy she was walking with. "I think I've had five kids drop from that class, and university lately. And after that weird guy came around again…"

Would Ichigo have done something like that? Dropped out? He never thought of the kid as a quitter, but it certainly seemed that way. He pulled out the phone that Urahara had given him before he left. He thought about calling it but then put it away. Nah, it wasn't like he had to find the fucking brat. He wandered off and took in some of the things around him. He didn't interact much, just wandered around the city to get a feel for how things worked in the World of the Living.

Grimmjow found his way down into an area that looked rather seedy. He didn't think he'd find someone like Ichigo Kurosaki down there, but he sure as hell could have some fun.

He wandered into a bar and sat down. Immediately two women and three men hit on him in quick succession. He supposed he was somewhat attractive by human standards. He took the drinks they bought him, but he shortly shooed them away. He wasn't hear for that kind of companionship. Well, not at the moment. He might take someone up on that soon enough though. Might as well enjoy all aspects of this human life while he could. He smirked as a man walked up to him with rheumy looking eyes and a strange smell.

"Yo, man, you look like you could use some stress relief," he said and looked up at Grimmjow.

"Um, no, I'm good," he said as he sipped at the drink he ordered. He didn't know what it was, he just picked something off the board.

"I got all sorts of smack, mollies, speedballs, even got to packs of the new shit, that _shiroakumaryu,_ you name it," he said and looked at him.

"You, get out of here!" the bartender said. The man startled and took off for the door.

Grimmjow looked at the bartender. "What was that about?"

"Damn drug dealers, always trying to sell in here. I pay good protection money, you know. I shouldn't have to deal with this shit," he muttered as he wiped down the bar.

"Why do they come in here?" Grimmjow asked.

"Ah, there's a fucking drug house down the street. They end up trying to deal up here now and then. I kept calling the fucking police, but they don't do shit. Fucking paid off by the Yakuza like everyone else around here. So I pay my protection money to those Yakuza bastards to keep the drug dealers out of this place. Fucking hell," he muttered as he went back to the bar.

Grimmjow frowned deeply and looked around the bar. A man sat down beside him and he looked at him. He was dressed plainly, suit and tie, and ordered a screwdriver. He was rather plain looking, dark in eye and hair. He nodded to Grimmjow.

"You're a colorful fellow," he said without looking at him.

"Yeah, well, that's how I am," Grimmjow said with a smirk.

"I see you aren't here for the ladies, or the gents, or the drugs. So what are you hanging out down here in the gutter for?" he asked as he glanced at him.

Grimmjow shrugged. "Came to Tokyo to look for a friend of mine."

"Ah, are they down here?" the other man asked.

"I doubt it. He came here to go to a big school, but he wasn't there when I went to see if he was," he said as he sipped his drink again. "I mean, he's a good guy, he wouldn't be down slumming like this. He's smart and got a lot going."

"Doesn't mean he can't be down here," the other man said and sighed. "I'm looking for my brother. Name's Aikawa Hando," he said and put his hand out to shake Grimmjow's.

"Ah, Grimm…Grimm Jaegerjaquez," he said with a nod. "You think your brother's down here?"

"I'm pretty sure. He was going to Tokyo University for nearly a year, then he just quit going. No letters, no calls, nothing. He just dropped off the face of the world. Got a message from a private eye I had on the case, saying he'd seen him in that drug house the bartender was talking about. I've been here every night this week, but I can't get up the nerve to go to it," Hando said with a sigh. "You just looked like someone looking too. Thought if you had similar aims, you could go with me so I don't wuss out again on going down there. I'm afraid of what I'll find."

Grimmjow nodded. "Well, I ain't doin' nothing else, I can go with you if you need. You think there's rough people there?"

"I know there is," Hando said and glanced at him.

A few minutes later, Grimmjow stood outside a large six story building with boarded up windows and strange smells coming out of it. It smelled like the guy that was trying to sell him these drugs did. Hando looked to be steeling himself. He walked up to the door that was half on the hinges and went into the building. He knelt down beside someone who was lying on the floor bundled in a sleeping bag.

"Hey, you seen this guy?" he asked and showed him a picture. The half-asleep man waved him off.

They moved through the first few floors with no luck, until a woman who was wearing only a skirt and heels looked at it and nodded. "Yeah, Tick, he's up top giving it up to the Takagashi boys to get some of that _Hakumaryuu_ smack shit I won't touch off them. He was bugging me earlier about wanting it, but I didn't have no extra for him. Boy gives good head, so I heard."

Hando looked at Grimmjow and nodded to him in defeat. "I was afraid of that," he whispered as he headed toward the stairs.

"Smack, that's one of the drugs that guy was trying to sell me," Grimmjow said as they headed up to the next level.

"My brother was vulnerable," Hando said. "Our sister was killed in a car accident a year ago. He took it hard, blamed himself for not being able to protect her, you know. Before he left, I caught him shooting up. He swore he wasn't an addict. He just wanted to take the edge off. I should have known."

Grimmjow paused and considered that. Vulnerable people turned to drugs. His mind went back to Zommari. He never was with it at all. They headed up to the top floor and could hear before they got there.

"Fuck, Tick, you got a dirty mouth, you know that?" a voice said. "Look at you take a face fucking. Ain't no gag reflex anymore, huh?"

"He's as much of a slut as Berry is…" another voice commented. "Both of them will do just about anything for a fucking hit of that new shit."

Grimmjow gestured to Hando to wait while he went in. He knew he could handle a few humans even in this Gigai thing. He had expected some sort of dampening on his abilities, but to his surprise the Gigai didn't limit his strength at all. He moved up to the door, hands in his pockets and looked in and wasn't surprised by what he saw. Honestly, for some reason, he was inclined to spare the guy from seeing his brother like this. He didn't know why he cared. There were about five guys around the large room on busted down sofas and futons. At the moment two of them were having at the younger one while a third recorded it with his phone.

"Man, Tick, you could probably take two cocks in that sloppy hole of yours," the one violently throat fucking him commented.

Grimmjow cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him. "Who the fuck are you?" the one that was kneeling behind the boy said. The boy's eyes rolled toward Grimmjow. "This ain't an open event."

"That kid. Let him up. He's leaving with me."

The two holding the boy on his knees between them looked at each other and snorted. "What?" the one closest to the door said to him.

"I said, let the kid up. I'm taking him out of here."

"What the fuck are you…" one of the ones sitting said and came around toward him.

In about five minutes, and several loud crashes later, Grimmjow stepped out into the hallway with a younger man wrapped up in a dirty curtain he'd ripped off the wall. "Come on, man," he said and Hando just stared at him as they walked out to Hando's car. Grimmjow set the boy down in the passenger seat and knelt by the car. He had a sick feeling in his gut. Things were too much alike for this to be anything else.

"Kid, I need to know something. You know this guy?" he asked and showed him a photo of Ichigo that Urahara had put into the wallet he gave him.

"That's Berry…" he said hoarsely. "He's been around the last year. Makes the rounds like me. There's…there's a lot of them that'll buy for us when we need it."

"We?" Grimmjow asked as Hando got into the front seat.

The boy nodded. "They…they call us…" he turned away and looked. " _Rinkan-b_ _ō._ There's...there's a lot of us around lately. Kids who get hooked up at the school by a couple of drug runners. Then…then they take it away, and we're stuck, and so…we have to…do things to get it. We don't have money…and when you start using _Hakumaryuu_. You can't stop. It's not like regular heroine. At least, not for us. Other people it doesn't do anything weird to. No, for us it's so much worse…"

Grimmjow nodded and stood up. He put together what they meant. _Rinkan-b_ _ō_ …if he wasn't mistaken it meant something like gangbang boys. He sighed. "The hell did you get into, Kurosaki?" he said as he watched the other guy leave in the car.

He turned, though and went back into the building. He ran back up to the room he'd just left and grabbed one of them, he didn't care which one. He hefted him up by the collar and slammed him into the wall, shocking him into yelping. He had been semi-conscious on the floor still, but now he was wide awake, bright blue eyes staring and dyed yellow hair sticking out everywhere. Grimmjow held up the small picture.

"Him. Where is he?"

"Man, I got no idea! Those fucking _Rinkan-b_ _ō_ go where they can get someone to fuck them for a hit of that stuff they're on. Could be anywhere. Shit, those little bastards will fucking turn tricks on the corner just to get enough to buy the shit. They're fucking desperate for that stuff," he gasped out.

"What is this stuff? This _Hakumaryuu_? The white devil dragon or something?"

"No idea, no one with any sense takes that shit," he said. He reached down and pulled a packet out of his pocket. "Here, go for it, man. You'll regret it."

Grimmjow took it without letting the guy down. "What does it do?"

"What do you mean?" he asked. "It's designer heroin. It does what any heroin does, man!"

Grimmjow looked at him. "Tell me what it does."

"Fuck, man did you come from under a rock? Gets you high, man, fucking high as a kite, chills you out, fuck, makes you feel really good. And that shit there…supposed to be a fantastic high, but when you fucking come down, you crash hard fucking core. Like, go into withdrawal in less than twenty four hours from that shit. Won't kill you, but you want to die. 'Cept the Rinkan-bo, they got it worse. It isn't just withdrawal, it's hell, like they fucking start seizing and shit, spitting up blood," he looked at Grimmjow. "Can you put me down?"

Grimmjow lowered him and crossed his arms over his chest and stared at him. "Why do these kids get hold of it then? If you wouldn't take it, why do they?"

One of the other guys had staggered to his feet and came over. He had long black hair that had come loose behind his neck and was shorter than the first one. "Dude sells it at the school. Like, he starts selling them regular smack. And that a kid can handle, well, most of them. But then he starts cutting their stuff with this other shit until that's what he's giving them instead of the regular shit. Then they need it every day or they feel like they're gonna die; some end up dying for real when they can't get it. So they come down here looking for the guy that sells it. We all fucking buy the shit and keep it on us now because they come looking for it all the time, so, why the hell not, don't mind getting a fuck out of it."

Grimmjow held up the white packet and looked at the two men he'd knocked out a few minutes ago. "So. This guy tricks these young boys into taking this stuff. Then he stops giving it to them, and they come looking for it. When they do, you assholes tell them that you'll give them some if you can fuck them. Why would you even think of that? Why would anyone?"

The two looked at each other. "Man, that's how shit works. You don't got the money, you turn a trick to get it from someone that does. We don't tell these _Rinkan-bō_ about it. They just figure it out. It's just they're so desperate they'll let a whole room full of guys fuck the shit out of them for a hit of it so they can sleep one night. They can't do much else. The shit makes you almost catatonic."

"Who started calling them that?" Grimmjow asked quietly.

The two guys looked at each other again. "No idea," the shorter of the two said, "Just…became a thing over the last few years. I mean, they don't last long. About a year or so, then they turn up dead. I mean, not from the same thing. Some of them catch something nasty, or some of them overdose. A few of them kill themselves when they can't get a hit, and then a few just die outright from not having it."

Grimmjow stared at them, trying to decide if they were lying. That would be stupid considering he'd knocked all five of them flat out in less than five minutes. "And it doesn't do that to everyone that takes it?" he asked as a third one of the men seemed to be waking up.

"Some people it doesn't hit as hard," the yellow haired one said. "I mean, I don't know why. I…I ran into Micks a few weeks ago, and he was complaining he hadn't found any new Rinkan boys at the school. I don't know why. Like, I took the shit, once, just to see…" The other guy looked at him with a wide eyed glance. "Didn't do anything to me. I don't know. I've seen Rinkan go apeshit until they could get it then they just are so high they can't even talk."

"Micks?" Grimmjow said.

The one with long black hair nodded. "Yeah, he's the dealer that hits the university."

"Where is he?"

The two men exchanged glances but it was the third one that had stumbled up beside them that spoke. "There's a building over three streets west. It's like five stories, and it has this broken down sign in front of it saying it is a dispensary. I mean, it is, just illegal shit."

Grimmjow nodded. "Alright. Name's Grimm. And if you see this guy," he said, holding up the photo. "You keep him where he is and get hold of me. That bar down the street is where I'll be every night this week. Got it? If I find out you didn't, I'll come back and fucking crush your throats."

The three conscious men nodded furiously. After this guy just literally knocked out all five of them without breaking a sweat they didn't want to consider what else he could do.

Grimmjow went walking and found the building, but it was empty. He'd come back the next night, he guessed, and see this Micks. He'd beat the fuck out of him if he had to so he found out what the hell was going on. He spent the day mostly wandering around the part of Tokyo he was in. He was disturbed by what he saw. So many people selling drugs, and selling their bodies. He had no idea that this sort of thing existed as he walked through the areas he was in the day before.

Night fell quickly and he got to the "dispensary". There was a very large man standing in the door. He looked him over.

"I need to see Micks."

"Who are you?" the man asked.

Grimmjow arched a blue brow at him. "Don't fucking matter. I'm here to see Micks about getting some of that _Hakumaryuu_ shit."

"Ah, your one of those kind, yeah, go in, third floor," the man said with a smirk.

Grimmjow headed up the stairs to the floor and found there was a large room with decent furniture set out in it. There was a table in the back with what looked like some sort of science equipment on it. He looked and saw a very short man with a scraggly beard and close cropped hair sitting behind a desk with a girl's head in his lap. Grimmjow realized she was giving him a blow job as he sat there.

"Fuck, girl, your fucking mouth is a dream," he muttered as he buried his hands in her long, curly blond hair. He didn't seem to notice Grimmjow.

Grimmjow leaned against the wall and waited patiently. Finally, he pulled her off and buttoned his pants. "Here, bitch," he said and flicked a packet at her. She smiled and took it, running for the door. Micks, apparently, looked up and noticed Grimmjow.

"What the fuck you want, blueberry?" he asked, arching thick brows at him.

"I heard you have that Hakumaryuu shit."

He nodded. "Yeah, my sister makes the stuff. It is amazing. If you try it, be careful. Some people get hooked real fast. I can shoot it all day and it don't do more than regular heroin for me. But, some folks…well, if you're hear buying, you know what the Rinken-bo will do for a hit of that stuff," he said with a smirk.

Grimmjow looked up as a short, equally scrawny woman in a black trench coat came in from the back. "Micks, got the next batch…" she said and looked up, locking eyes on Grimmjow.

Grimmjow, though, was staring at the container she was holding. "What the fuck are you doing with that…" he muttered and moved quickly over to her and snatched it from her, staring at it.

It was some kind of glass container, shaped like an hourglass, with a cap on the top of it. The inside shimmered where the substance inside had touched he glass. He looked down and up at her. In the bottom, a bunch of nearly translucent powder that moved with the consistency of liquid sloshed in the bottom. It almost looked like it was living, trying to crawl up the sides of the container, but it couldn't. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the soul candy, popping one into his mouth. His Gigai fell backward, causing Micks to screech and run from the room, while he held onto the containing. The girl was staring directly at him.

"What are you?" she gasped. "You…you're like the white masked ones…but different…"

Grimmjow shook his head as he released the dampener, just a bit. The woman screamed, falling to her knees from the small release of his reiatsu. He growled. "Do you even know what this is?" he asked as he felt the hollow spiritual energy roiling off the container. It was some sort of residue, and it was reacting to his reiatsu, moving in the container toward him. "Where did you get this?"

"I find it! When those people with the swords kill the white faced ones!" she moaned, trying to stand but unable to do so under Grimmjow's pressure. "I had some one day that I found, and one of the boys thought it was heroin, he…he shot it before I could stop him, and he just was so blissed out and said it was the best high he ever had…so I made more of it…but it didn't work on everyone…"

Grimmjow stared at her. "You fucking idiotic human," he said out loud. He put the container down. "You realize what you've done? You've fucking introduced something into this drug of yours that isn't from here!" he said. "Dumb."

Then it hit Grimmjow. What if it didn't affect everyone for a reason? What if it only affected those with spiritual connections? And what would happen if one of the most powerful Shinigami in Soul Society, even without powers, got his hands on this shit? He knelt down and yanked her head up; releasing more of his reiatsu, making her cower more.

"This one. Where is he?" he said and put the picture in front of her face.

She stared. "I saw him down at Kanda-chan's place. Kanda…promised him a steady line if he stayed there. Kanda took a liking to him. I've been taking him double every day since he started staying there."

"Where is this Kanda?" Grimmjow asked with deathly calm.

"It…it is three blocks north of here. It's a house, but there's a van in front, no windows, and it's black with writing on one side that says 'Hit Van'. That's Kanda."

Grimmjow stood up, reactivating the suppressor and getting back into the Gigai, feeling other reiatsu heading in his direction. The local Shinigami had felt it, of course. He took off and made his way to look for this place. He stopped out in front of a plain house with the van in front of it.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

The world was spinning, and Ichigo had no idea why it was spinning this time; of course it didn't matter, really. Then he gasped as he came back to the world for a minute, realizing Kanda was using him again. He really wished he wouldn't fuck him while he was out of it. He wasn't very good at remembering to use things like lube when he didn't yell at him. Not that he remembered then, either.

"Fuck, Kanda…" he groaned as he felt him go off. "Can't you wait until I'm fucking awake," he muttered as he nearly fell off the bed when Kanda let go of his hips. "And fucking hell, why do you do that," he growled as he tried to stand but wobbled for a second and fell into Kanda.

"If I waited for you to be awake, I'd never get my nut off," he muttered as he did his pants up around him.

Kanda was a nice looking guy. Tall, slender, well, emaciated really, but he always had the stuff Ichigo needed. He would have been stupid not to take him up on his offer to stay with him. But the need hit him and he fell to his knees with a groan as pain shot from his toes to his hair. It felt like every muscle in his body was coming loose from his body and then he was drowning from the pain in his lungs. If he noticed that there was a screaming sound sometimes in his ears, he didn't care.

"Kanda, please…I need some…" he moaned and looked up at him with bloodshot eyes.

"Berry, fuck, you just hit up two hours ago," Kanda muttered as he took a drag off a crack pipe. "You're going to break me buying shit for you. I mean, your ass is sweet and all, and I like fucking the hell out of you, but dammit. You gonna have to wait at least four hours before I give you any more."

Ichigo gasped. He couldn't wait that long. He felt like his insides were on fire and his head was going to explode with the pain. He crawled over to him and looked up. "Please, I need it…it hurts, daddy."

If anyone had told Ichigo Kurosaki two years ago he would be here, he would have laughed in their face. He was in a drug house, begging his supplier for a hit, and he would literally do anything to get it. He had done anything to get it. Sometimes, when he was with it enough, he'd wonder what the hell happened to get here.

It was simple. He was cutting, a lot. One night he was sitting in the park on the swing near his house and a guy came up and asked what he was doing. He didn't remember the conversation, but he handed him a pill in a packet marked with a white dragon with devil horns on it. Ichigo had kept it a long time before he took it. He felt…good. He hadn't felt good in a long time, so he'd called the number the guy gave him. He got some more, and then he asked if Ichigo wanted something better. Ichigo hesitated. He was talking about more than a narcotic now and then now. But…it wasn't taking the edge off so well anymore. He figured he could handle it. After all, he'd just use it to sleep like he had the hydrocodone. So that's how he got his first packet of heroine, marked again with that white dragon with the horns on it. Then he almost got caught by his sisters, so he told his dad he was going to Tokyo University. He wanted to do that anyway, so it wasn't a big deal.

He had to change dealers, of course. He didn't think about how wrong it was, this reliance on a chemical to help him make it through each day. It relieved the incredible depression he'd been suffering with since his powers were taken from him. Backs, his first dealer, introduced him to Micks, and Micks started providing it. He had great prices, he thought, better than Backs had, so he didn't have to worry. He just used the money his father sent him to buy it. He didn't really need much else. Then he started to feel weird when he'd hit up and then he needed it so bad. He had no idea why, but it was messing with his head so much, and he just only could focus on one thing: getting more. That was when he left school, trying to find Micks down where he said he worked in a red light district of Tokyo. He found him but he refused to sell at the same price, instead increasing it five times. Ichigo didn't have that, and he had needed a hit right then. He begged him, and Micks said maybe they could have a trade.

Ichigo didn't understand what he meant until he was halfway into his clothes. But Ichigo didn't have the strength to even resist him if he wanted to. He was weakened by the withdrawal, and something else that he couldn't understand. All he could feel was need to get it. Micks had tossed a large packet at him and laughed. "Welcome to the _Rinkan-bō,"_ he'd said, but Ichigo hadn't heard him, he was scrambling to get his kit out, not caring that he was still half dressed. He needed it, right then. There was not anything else in the entire world.

Almost a year had passed, and it had only gotten worse. He'd shoot, and then go into a stupor of a sort where he felt wonderful and couldn't even think. Then, as soon as he came to reality, all he could do was think about getting another hit of it so he could make the pain go away. That's all he wanted, to make the pain go away. That had been all he wanted to start with. But now, he was in a constant haze of pain and bliss, and he couldn't get out of it. He didn't have the thought to even try.

"Please, daddy, you know I'll be good to you," he said and rolled his eyes up at him.

"I just nutted, bitch," Kanda said and backhanded Ichigo soundly, sending him to the floor.

Ichigo started to worry, kneeling up and watching him walk toward the door. His cheek stung but that was nothing unusual. Kanda was rough most the time. Kanda turned back, seeing the desperate expression on Ichigo's face.

"Fuck, I can't say no to you with that face," he said. "Tell you what, entertain the boys while I'm gone, and I'll bring you back enough for three more hits today."

Ichigo's eyes went wide. Three more would last today and tonight if he was careful with it. "Yeah, sure, whatever they want, just hurry back with it…" he said, still sitting on the floor where he'd fallen.

Kanda shook his head and went to the door, beaconing toward his men in the area. "Hey, Ichi-Berry here wants to work to get his hits, and I'm nutted out. So you guys can have some fun while I go pick up another stash from Micks."

Ichigo was somewhat aware of his surroundings when he realized he was being picked up by the arms. He blinked and realized it was Tomi and Sukowa who were lifting him up from the floor and throwing him onto the bed.

"You will do anything, any fucking thing, for that shit, won't you?" Tomi said as he pushed open the yukata Ichigo was wearing. Wearing was a subjective statement in that it was technically on his arms still. Other than that, it was rather a moot point.

"Yeah," Ichigo said, his mind completely focused on the need and nothing else. He felt the hands, he always did, but he honestly didn't care. He'd done this so many times it didn't really matter. All he wanted was to chase that devil dragon down the hole.

However, when he found himself sitting on Tomi's cock and being roughly shoved forward onto him, he wondered just what the hell they were doing. Actually, he didn't even remember when Tomi pulled him onto him; honestly hadn't felt it after Kanda's rough treatment. He winced as Sukowa wrenched his arms behind his back and pushed down.

"The fuck…" he muttered, pain lancing through his shoulders that was eclipsing how much he needed a hit right then. "What are you doing?" he gasped as he felt Sukowa move up behind him. Too late, he realized what he was doing.

Ichigo didn't think he'd screamed in a long time, but when he slammed into him alongside Tomi, he did scream. He gasped and tried to get away from the pain that was coursing through him up his back and down to his feet.

"Fuck, no, don't…stop…" he gasped out as both Tomi and Sukowa laughed at him.

"You are the best, you know, Ichi-Berry. You know why?" Sukowa said as he slammed into him hard, again and again. "You feel as fucking tight as a goddamn virgin every fucking time. Your ass never gets loose and open like those other pussy boys. Never seen anything like it. No matter how much you get fucked, it seems like your cunt goes back to being nice and tight."

Tomi groaned. "Fuck yes, that's why Kanda wanted him here. Fucking hell, I'm glad he likes to share."

Ichigo was gasping for breath at that point. They were right, of course. Ichigo's body healed abnormally fast, returning to normal in very little time. Other injuries seemed to heal faster too, but he didn't realize it, or if he did, he didn't understand it. He had never had that be the case during the time he had no power until he started using the new stuff Micks gave him.

Of course, that meant this hurt like hell, and he could feel blood running down under him. He was actually sobbing from it, and he hadn't cried in a long time. He prided himself on being able to take whatever they could give him. Before, when he was on the street, he'd done a lot he would never thought he'd do just to get the money for a hit. He couldn't even count how many times he'd been slammed into the side of a building, or worse. But this… It was so much worse than anything he'd ever done.

He then was moving, and not under his own power, as he felt the bed under him. He blinked, staring up at the ceiling, his ass burning from them both taking him at once. It was like fire lit in his guts, to be honest. But that could have been the need to get hold of the drug, too. Or maybe not, because he was bleeding pretty damn well if the dampness under his ass was any indication. He moaned and curled in on himself. Fuck that hurt so much, he thought to himself. He heard a couple screams that sounded like the guys, but he didn't understand why they would be screaming. He heard someone's voice and he looked up and blinked. He had to be hallucinating. No, there was no way this was real…

"Gr-Grimmjow?" he stammered finally before he passed out.


	2. A Devil's Voice in His Head

Chapter Two

A Devil's Voice in his Head

Grimmjow's first thought upon going to the door of the place was it looked like any normal house. There was a scrawny looking guy coming out, looking around before he climbed into the van and took off. That had to be the Kanda guy. He frowned, debating how to go about this. What if that bitch lied to him? He shook his head. What was he even doing here? Why did it matter?

He sighed and shook his head. It didn't matter why. But he was going to get him out of this, one way or another. He went up to the door and knocked loudly.

A bleary eyed girl answered the door. She was high. Grimmjow was glad he knew a little bit about this because they acted like Zommari had. She smiled wide at him. "Oh, fuck, baby, you wanna give me a ride? You are a fine big boy…"

"Where is this kid?" he said and showed her the picture. She leaned forward, rubbing her reddened brown eyes. She ran a hand over her short black hair and looked.

"Oh, that's Berry!" she said finally, smiling. "Wow, he don't look nothin' like that now. Fuck, he was a cutie before all this. But no mistakin' that hair. Talk about surprise that his pubes are the same fucking color. I never woulda thought it was natural."

Grimmjow held the urge to simply punch the girl. And then the thought ran through his mind, why did he care about her knowing what color his pubic hair was? It actually pissed him off that she would know that. That anyone would know that. He blinked and pushed her out of the way.

"Is he fucking here?" he growled.

"Oh, yeah, he's back in Kanda's room," she said, thumbing over her shoulder. "I'm sure the boys would let you join in if you want. Kanda let them have a little fun while he was gone picking up more of the stuff. Never seen anyone fucking hit as much as that boy. I swear…Kanda's already regretting making him his fuck toy."

Grimmjow looked at her. "What do you mean?"

She looked at him. "Um, you know? Fuck toy. Guys with money like Kanda, they take a liking to a strung out whore like Berry or me, I'm Yomi's fuck toy, and then they keep us in our favorite drug. Actually, kinda nice. No more giving blow jobs in back alleys," she said with a smile. "That's how met Berry and introduced him to Kanda, actually. Goddamn boy has no fucking gag reflex, I swear to fuck," she said. "I wish I could take a throat fucking like he can."

Grimmjow ground his teeth. "How long has he been doing this shit?"

She looked at him. "Berry? Fuck, he's been turning tricks for at least a year now. I never seen a more desperate guy in my life. Shit, I've seen him suck someone off in the middle of a bar under the table just to get his shit. I'm glad that stuff doesn't do to me what it does to him. Don't get it why it works that way, I've tried it. Good high, I guess, no more than regular black tar, but those Rinkan-bo like Ichi-Berry, it fucks them the hell up. It's worse than meth…"

Grimmjow looked down at the room and heard a shriek and he took off, slamming open the door and he felt a level or rage that he was quite sure would have made Yammy look calm.

It was Ichigo, well, he knew it was him because of the hair, he was being ruthlessly fucked and asking them to stop. The one on top of him was pinning his arms to his back and he was obviously in pain, and there was blood, because Grimmjow could smell it easily. He growled and he grabbed the guy on the top then shoved Ichigo off the other and grabbed him up the second surprised guy. Both yelled out briefly before he slammed their heads together, knocking them both senseless. He went over to where Ichigo was laying on his back looking up at the ceiling now.

Honestly, other than his hair, he was almost unrecognizable. Even his hair was only barely recognizable… He was drawn thin, ribs protruding. His cheeks were sunken and his hair was simply unkempt. It was dingy and laid in kinked waves down past his chin. It was knotted up and it looked like someone had recently tried to brush it out and put it up. They had not been very successful. He looked horrible, to be honest. His body was covered with bruises and cuts, and he had a fresh bruise rising on his right cheekbone.

"Kurosaki!" he said and moved his face. "Ichigo! Look at me you fucking brat!"

Ichigo's eyes finally focused on him and he said his name in utter confusion before he passed out cold. Grimmjow gasped and fumbled the phone out of his pocket. He dialed the number for the shopkeeper.

"Urahara's Candy!" came the chipper voice.

"I don't care about your fucking candy, bastard Shinigami, I need your help."

"Oh, my, what is it?" Urahara said trying to keep his voice light, but even Grimmjow could hear the tension creeping into it.

"I found him, and he is fucked up, like, I don't know what the hell to do…" he said as he looked him over, pulling the yukata closed over him. "He passed out, and he's bleeding, and I don't know how to handle this…" he said shakily.

"Alright, release your suppressor, Grimmjow-san. I will come to you. If any other Shinigami come to you first, tell them that you're under Urahara Kisuke's protection and that I'm on the way to you," he said and the line went off.

Grimmjow reached up and took off the suppressor completely, this time sending out a heavy pulse of his reiatsu to make sure Urahara could find him. He felt there were other Shinigami coming his way but he didn't care as he knelt by the bed and tried to wake Ichigo up by patting his cheeks. He kept checking to make sure he was breathing, but he didn't know anything about humans, honestly. He looked up as two black clad Shinigami stepped through the window into the room.

"What, an Arrancar!" one said with a gasp.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm waiting for Urahara to get his idiot ass here."

"Urahara? Urahara Kisuke?" the male one said and looked at the female one. Both were holding their Zanpakutō up at him.

"Yes," came a voice as Urahara stepped down himself. "Goodness, Grimmjow-san, I should have gone to Hueco Mundo and got you a long time ago," he said, seeing the more than obvious scene before him.

"Yeah, well, I didn't kill those guys, even though I wanted to," he muttered as he patted at Ichigo's hollow cheeks again. Ichigo hummed under his breath this time.

Urahara knelt down by the humans and reached into one of their pockets and pulled out a packet. "This…this has hollow energy…" he said quietly and looked at Grimmjow.

"Yeah, that's the shit he's hooked on. They call it White Devil Dragon, _Hakumaryuu_ , or some shit. But I have no idea. The one that I found making it said she just found hollow residue after a Shinigami killed a hollow, and she kept it, but when someone shot it up like heroine, it was an amazing high or some shit…" he explained as he tried to get Ichigo to open his eyes again. They fluttered and rolled and he muttered something.

"Goddammit, where's Kanda…" he growled as he locked eyes on the cerulean ones above him. "Fuckin' hallucinating again, need my shit…" he said and looked over toward the window and frowned. "Fuck, I really am hallucinating if I'm seeing Shinigami…" he said with a snort and a giggle.

Urahara moved toward him. "He can see spiritual beings again," he said quietly and turned his senses toward Ichigo.

"He has reiatsu again. That's impossible…" Urahara whispered, and then looked at the packet of powder he had. "We need to get him to Soul Society and figure out what this stuff is and what it's done to him…" he said.

Grimmjow nodded. "Then open the gate, getabishi. Let's go."

He gathered Ichigo up in his arms, trying to keep the yukata on him as well as he could and looked at Urahara. Urahara stared at him.

"Grimmjow-san, I can't guarantee what will happen to you in Soul Society…I don't…"

"Don't fucking care, stop talking and let's get him there," Grimmjow growled at him. "He needs help, now."

Urahara tilted his head toward him and nodded. "First, to the shoten, you need to leave your Gigai there."

Grimmjow nodded and took off in sonido following Urahara's Shunpo. They got to the shoten and Urahara decided it best to call Soul Society before he showed up with an Arrancar and Ichigo in the condition he was in. He looked at the impatient Grimmjow and sighed.

"Here, put him in this room, stay with him, I have to at least call Soul Society and tell them what's happening so you aren't killed on sight," he said as he headed into the other room.

Grimmjow grumbled but put Ichigo down on the tatami mat. He brushed his hair off his forehead and sighed. He still was completely out. He had no idea why he was doing what he was doing. He heard a frightened gasp behind him and looked to see Orihime was standing there with Yoruichi.

"What are you…why are you here…what happened to Kurosaki-kun?" she said as she ran around the other side of him and threw her shield over him. Grimmjow looked at Yoruichi for an explanation.

"Kisuke said he wasn't in good shape, so I went for Inoue to see if she could help."

Grimmjow nodded as they waited to see if she could do anything for him. After a bit she sat back. "I don't understand."

"What is it?" Grimmjow said with a frown.

"I healed his wounds," she said, and Grimmjow pulled down the yukata to see that the bruising and the cuts were gone. "But…but something's not right. Something's really wrong with him…and I can't…"

Ichigo blinked and looked at Grimmjow again. "What the fuck…" he muttered and Orihime leaned back, surprised by him. "What the fuck are you here? Wait, are you real?" he muttered and reached up and touched Grimmjow's face. "If you're a fucking hallucination, you're a really fucking good one…"

"Dumb ass brat, I'm not a hallucination," he said, frowning at him.

"Oh, well that's good," he said and then arched up and seemed to be suppressing a scream. "Fuuuuuck…" he said. "Where's Kanda…I need it…now…fuck…" he said and sat up, shaking his head and looking around and realizing he wasn't at Kanda's.

"Where…why…this is…no!" he said and glared at Grimmjow as he stumbled to his feet. "Why am I here? Fuck, I have to get back…I have to get it…" he said as he dropped to his knees and nearly shrieked as he looked up with teary eyes at Grimmjow. "Take me…back…he was…bringing me enough for…today…I need it now…"

Ichigo's head was on fire and he felt like his muscles were each individually being stripped out of his body one at a time. He coughed and felt blood running down his chin when he did. "Please…I need…I need…" he said, and Grimmjow realized he was scared, panicking, and it was obvious whatever this was it had a physical effect as well as the addiction.

He was sitting on his knees, clutching his stomach and heaving hard breaths when Urahara slid open the door. "Oh my," he muttered.

Ichigo's head popped up and he narrowed red eyes at him. "I fucking told you to leave me the fuck alone! I told you I didn't want your help! I told you to never come for me again and you did it anyway!" he yelled at him, pausing to groan deeply as pain lanced through his head this time. He put both hands on it and bashed his forehead into the floor to make it stop, anything to make it stop.

"Stop, have to…have to…make it stop…" he gasped as he sat up slammed his head down again.

Grimmjow was up and grabbing him and stopping him from doing it again. He was fighting him though, but Grimmjow's strength was overcoming Ichigo's easily.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Grimmjow yelled as he wrestled Ichigo into his lap, crossing his arms in front of him and hugging him from behind. "Stop that!"

Ichigo was muttering nonsense now, blood pouring from cut on his head from slamming it into the floor. "It has to stop, make it stop…oh fuck, I need it, need it now…oh fuck…" he gasped out and kept trying to get out of Grimmjow's grip.

Urahara frowned and went back to his lab. He took a small amount of the drug and mixed it into saline. It was maybe an eighth of the small packet. He took it out and knelt down by Ichigo, grabbing his arm and finding a vein easily. Ichigo turned to him and gasped, a smile spreading across his face.

"Oh…oh…tha's better…" he panted as he leaned back into Grimmjow's grip. "It stopped…it stopped…" he said as he turned his eyes to Urahara. "Need more…please…"

"No, we're taking you to figure out just what this is…" Urahara said and looked up to see Rukia and Renji coming into the Shoten.

"What…oh my…" Rukia said as she saw Ichigo, leaning back into Grimmjow's arms.

Ichigo heard her and looked at her, eyes dilated completely. "Oh…midget…good ta see ya 'gin. Maybe. I dunno. Seeing fuckin' Shinigami…what the fuck is up with that…" he said and started giggling. "Best one ever if I'm seeing them," he said to himself now. "Gotta get more from that guy…good stuff…good stuff…" he said with a deep sigh.

He rolled his head to the side and saw Renji. "Fuck, you too?" he said. "Hum. You know, always wondered how far down your tattoos went, Ren…" he muttered and grinned at him. "If you could do me this favor…I'll do whatever you want…I need you to go find Kanda, and I need my stuff...Be a pal, huh? I'm pretty good at being very appreciative…" he said and rolled his head over to the side. "Please…it's coming back already…not enough…"

Renji and Rukia exchanged a glance. Urahara shook his head at them. "Come on, we need to get him to Unohana-taichou. I've already called Isshin and the head captain. He knows about Grimmjow already," he said.

"Can you carry him, Grimmjow-san?" Urahara asked.

"Sure, fucking weighs nothing," he muttered as he picked Ichigo up in a bridal carry easily.

Ichigo gasped at the movement and clung to him. "Oh shit. Where we goin…"

"Soul Society," Urahara said as he opened the gate.

"Oh, damn, I was hoping I'd go back to Kanda…he was gonna give me three packs…if I did a good job for the boys…my fucking ass still hurts, fucking bastards…" he said as he snuggled into Grimmjow's neck. "You smell good," he said.

Grimmjow shook his head as he followed through the dangai with him.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

"That's disappointing," the man in the suit said as he stared at the short woman. "I thought you said that this Kanda would keep him under his thumb?"

"He…he tried, but one of those…those masked things…it came and wanted to find him. But it wasn't like the others, this one…it was like a human," she stammered as she looked at him nervously.

"The boss is going to be disappointed that we lost our best test reaction."

The girl nodded. "I know, he was becoming stronger and faster already, so it would have worked eventually. I still wonder where he got the idea to use this stuff to create and control people like me…" she said softly.

"Well, you know how the boss is. You can continue production?" he said.

"Yes, I need a new base; my brother's location isn't good now that that weird guy showed up."

"Arrancar is what they are called, evolved hollows. Stay clear of the Shinigami, too. They may know about production, and try to stop it," he said and nodded.

Ryokan left the woman and got back into the car and headed back to the office. It was a dangerous game they were playing, operating right under the noses of the Yakuza in the area. But, if they could get this drug perfected, they would be living well an able to compete with the Yakuza on every level. A drug with the same effects of heroin, only undetectable on drug tests and no crash? Granted, that was only were "normal" humans. The spiritually aware like himself were adversely affected, therefore they made the best test subjects. A shame to lose one like Kanda's whore. He'd been easy to gauge changes in the composition on. There would be others, though, he thought as he stepped out of the car and straightened his suit jacket. Time to go be a businessman.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

The lazy looking Shinigami yawned as he sipped the special tea he was drinking. "Man, that's good shit," he muttered. "Where did you pick that up? Fuck I'm impressed."

"Man, you got that right, new import, man," the kid with blue dyed hair said with a sigh. "Came in from Mexico last night, man," he said as he sipped his own tea made from the new leaf he'd gotten in the night before.

There was a knock at the door, startling the group of quite stoned young people surrounding the Shingiami in his Gigai.

"Yo, man, there's someone at the door," a girl with purple braids all over her head said and looked over her shoulder at the door. The beanbag was far too comfortable to get up anyway.

"Ugh," the shinigami said, sighing as he debated getting up or not to answer it.

"Here, I'll get it, Kaoru," another woman said as she sat down a tray of freshly made brownies, using freshly made special butter from a nice sativa they'd gotten in from Cambodia the last week. She grabbed one as she went to the door and opened it.

There was a woman standing there with deep purple hair, dark skin, and a tight fitting track suit or something. "Yo, who are you?"

"Is Kaoru here?" she asked and crossed her arms at the other woman.

"Um, yeah, dude, Kaoru…" she said, calling over her shoulder at him.

Kaoru stood up, wobbling a bit. "Yeah, oh, hey, it's you," he said as he got a look who was at the door.

"You've been called in. Your…talents…are needed back home," she said and simply turned on her heels and left as quickly as she had arrived.

The one with the blue hair smirked at Koaru as he came back. "Dude, your mom is fuckin' hot…"

Kaoru looked at him and shook his head. "I'll be gone a while, man, just keep it chill while I'm gone. Let's say I'm gonna have an outta body experience, man…"

He headed to his room and left his Gigai and headed back to Karakura Town to meet up with Urahara and Shihoin. He knocked on the door and smiled sleepily at Urahara when he opened it.

"Urahara-san, how are you?"

"Just get in here," he said curtly, which was a change from the man's usual calm attitude. "We have a problem, and it is drug related," he said as he ushered the other shinigami into the shoten and to his lab.

"What's this, man?" he asked as he looked around the lab.

"I have a problem, and this is it," he said, pointing at the vials sitting around. "Heroin, but something has been changed about it."

"It has hollow energy," Kaoru said with nod. "This is that Hakumaryuu, isn't it…" he said. "I couldn't get a sample," he said as he looked over the stages that Urahara had been testing.

"You knew about this?" Urahara asked.

"Man, that's why I was there in Tokyo. Like this stuff isn't chill, this stuff is gnarly, man. Like regualar smack is bad enough. This, though…" he said, whistling under his breath.

"Can we not have the hero woship of the drug's creator?" Yoruichi said as she walked up behind him.

"Sorry, dudette, I just got a little wrapped up in seeing this. Got sent here because like, spiritually aware humans, it messes with them bad, like mega bad, man…" he said as he ran a hand over his head and sighed.

"Just tell me what you think," Urahara said as he stood back. "This is your field of expertise. Unohana-taichou said that she showed you a reishi cleansing technique to help remove toxins from the blood and lessen adverse effects of medicines."

"Whoa, dude, slow down with the big words," Kaoru said with a sigh as he looked over it. "But look, dude. This stuff, it isn't really made of opium in the same way regular human drugs are, see…" he said as he started looking at it. "Like, it starts out as some crappy quality Heroin. But then, they merge it with this other compound. The one that got the hollow energy, man. Look at this. It tries to come to us…"

Urahara looked down at the sample. "The compound is moving toward us." He held up his hands and pulsed a focused bit of reiatsu toward it. It moved closer still.

"You got your spiritually aware humans who take this, and dude, it gives them a nice high. Problem is, eventually it starts drawing hollows to them, almost like hollow bait of some kind…" Urahara looked at him, remembering that Uryu had used something like that, he remembered that. "So my thinking is that these guys are luring more hollows, letting the local Shinigami kill them, then they sneak in a collect the residue in containers made for it. Now…man, the way these containers work, it almost out of human ability to make. Gnarly, I'm tellin' ya dude. The more they take, the stronger a hollow lure they become."

"Why, though?" Urahar asked. "Why are they doing this? They're addicting spiritual aware humans to a drug made from hollow residue just to draw more hollows to make more of the same drug?"

"That's right, man, but the reason is cuz it's about what it does to regular humans."

"I thought you said that it didn't affect hem the same way?" Urahara said with a sigh, confused by the around about way Kaoru spoke.

"Nah, man, it doesn't, because it doesn't bond to spiritual energy in the same way. But, dude, it is impossible to detect by human drug tests, and, if they continue in the same way that this is going…it will become the single most addictive substance known to the human world. This sample I got my hands on two months ago, man, was not this refined. Like, dude. They're making it better and better, less detectable, more addictive, but with less side effects while using it. But the withdrawel is terrible. Dudes, they won't care, though, because they can hit this stuff and not have a hot drug test…" He paused. "There could be other reasons that we don't understand yet, too."

"So what exactly does this mean to someone with high spiritual energy potential, like more than your average spiritually aware human?" Yoruichi said as she looked at him.

"Gnarly shit, man. Gnarly shit…" he said. "I mean, the shit binds to the spiritual energy, latent or otherwise, and then it fucks with it. They call it the white devil dragon. There's a joke that it messes with more than just your head. They say it amps up primal instincts, too. Like people get all sorts of ragey and shit…" he muttered. "See, watch this," he said as he took a dropper of the substance and dripped it on his finger. It seemed to sit on the surface for a second before it absorbed completely.

"Wasn't that dangerous?" Urahara asked.

"Nah, man. Like this shit would be most dangerous to…I don't know…"

Urahara stood up. "What about a Quincy?"

Kaoru looked at him. "Not sure. There is a is a possibility the same effect would occur."

"And what about something like the Arrancar or Hollows?" he asked.

"Oh, man, no idea, would fuck them up…think of it like this, you got the distilled essence of a hollow's spiritual energy, and then it's like…like... like euphoria but ten times that."

"And…what about a Shinigami that was hollowified…made Vizard…" Urahara asked and stood up slowly. "Who…who has Quincy blood…"

"Fuck, dude, that dude would be fucked up for good…like this compound would bond with the addictive element in the heroin…once it does, it starts to bind to the physical brain, like the addiction would be amplified, but it would bind to the spiritual energy, making it impossible for the addict to go without it. The more spiritual energy, faster they would cycle through the drug and need more."

"How would you get someone addicted to this stuff cleaned of it?" Urahara said softly as he stood up and looked at him.

Kaoru looked at him. "I don't know that you can. That's all, like, hypothetical and shit, right?"

Urahara sighed. "I wish it was," he said as he looked up at Kaoru.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Grimmjow wasn't exactly sure what to expect when he stepped through into Soul Society. He glanced around and realized that there were plenty of black clad figures around the area staring at him. He felt Ichigo shift in his arms and he looked around. "Fuck…" he muttered and nudged Grimmjow's chin with his head. "You sneak me back if I suck you off?" he asked him quietly.

Grimmjow growled. "No."

"You're not fun," Ichigo said and flopped back to let his head dangle over his arm.

"Kurosaki?" he heard and his eyes saw an upside-down Toshiro.

"Heh, you're upside down, Toshiro…" he said with a grin. "Why…oh wait, I'm upside down…"

Toshiro looked up at Grimmjow. "What the…"

"Don't worry about it, we're figuring it out," Grimmjow said as he followed Rukia and Renji into the fourth.

Grimmjow was not surprised when he felt Ichigo trying to wriggle out of his grip. He tightened his grip and he made a strangled sound as though surprised that he held onto him. Unohana led them to a secure room where Grimmjow unceremoniously dropped Ichigo onto the bed with an oof. Renji and Rukia stared at him as he sat there and looked around the room blinking.

"Ichigo?" Rukia asked as she stepped closer to him. Grimmjow had crossed his arms and was staring at him.

"Hey," he said with a goofy grin. "How's you midget?" he slurred as he nearly fell off the table.

"What is wrong with him?" Renji asked as he looked at Unohana.

"We are trying to understand that currently. Urahara-san has gone to find a specialist in the World of the Living for dealing with intoxicants and addiction to substaces," Unohana said as she moved up to him and started scanning him.

Ichigo nearly fell backward when she came close to him, but Grimmjow caught him before he fell off. He started to watch her hands with wide eyes. "Whoa…what's that…"

"Ichigo, I am checking over things, alright?" Unohana said with a smile at him.

"Ah, can I get some more of my stuff? My head hurts…Kissi didn't give me enough…" he muttered.

"Ichigo, I don't think it is very good for you to have more of that substance. We don't know what it does to you yet," she said gently.

"I know what it does…" he said, eyes watching her hands as she moved them. "Makes me numb, happy, makes the pain go away," he said as he she stepped back. "I gotta get more, soon…" he muttered and looked around the room.

Renji and Rukia exchanged glances. "Ichigo, why…what happened to you?" Renji asked.

Ichigo smirked and looked at Renji. "Well, see, there's some very nice stuff called heroin. And it makes you go a bit numb and feel really wonderful. But my fucking supplier was an asshole and started cutting my fucking junk with the Hakumaryuu, fucker. Then jacks my goddamned price up so I can't afford the shit. Find out the hard way the only way to get it when you ain't got money…" he said with a shrug. "Sucks, but you know. Not like I had much else I could do…" he said with a sigh.

Renji looked at Rukia and then to Grimmjow. "Is he…"

Grimmjow glared at them. "You coldn't have checked on him since he lost his power? You just left him alone to handle it buy himself? You let him become a drug addict like this?" he said and narrowed his eyes.

"Drug addict?" Rukia said and looked Renji. "What…how…but we…"

Ichigo started laughing then suddenly then jerked violently. Grimmjow grabbed onto him before he started to seize uncontrollably. Unohana qorked quickly and managed to get a kido onto him that put him into a short term statsis. Grimmjow looked at her as he put him back down onto the bed.

Unohana sighed. "I will keep him in stasis for now. Until Kaoru-san and Urahara-san come up with some ideas, I'm at a loss for what to do with him. I'll attempt to cleanse his energy, but I am unsure if it will work. Hopefully enough to stop the physical dependence for a short time."

When she was done, Rukia and Renji looked at Grimmjow. "Why are you here? What is happening? Urahara said that you weren't to be killed when you got here with him. Why are you doing this?" Rukia demanded.

Grimmjow glared at her. "I showed up in the World of the Living just because I was fucking bored to tears in Hueco Mundo. And I thought I'd find Kurosaki. But I found this instead. I pulled him out of a fucking drug house, trading himself for this fucking Hakumaryuu."

"Trading himself?" Renji asked with a frown.

"Yeah," Grimmjow said with a narrowed glance at them. "What he held do you think he meant when he said he didn't have money for the drugs? He traded himself for it."

"You mean, like…sex?" Rukia asked with wide eyes.

"I sure don't think in the state he's in he could trade much else, idiot," he said with a growl.

Rukia and Renji wanted to say more but Unohana brought Isshin into the room. All three of those present, looked at him. Isshin walked up to beside the bed and put his hand on his face.

"Ichigo…" he said quietly. "I'm sorry I failed you, son." He pulled up the blanket up over him. He was still in the dark yukata he had been wearing when Grimmjow picked him up. Isshin looked at Grimmjow.

"I want to thank you for brinigng him out."

Grimmjow glared at him. "Why didn't you go get him?"

Isshin sighed. "I wasn't sure. I found him twice, but he refused to return with me. I thought…I thought something was wrong, but he didn't let me in. What are you doing with him? Why did you go find him?"

Grimmjow glanced at him and back to Isshin. "I don't know. Just wanted to help him when I found out what those fuckers were doing to him."

Isshin nodded and saw something curious in the Arrancar's eyes. Something unusual. He glanced at Rukia and Renji. "I suppose that the head captain knows what he's doing if he's allowing you to be in Soul Society."

"He does," came Byakuya's voice in the doorway. "For him to remain in Soul Society he will be equipped with a monitoring device." He handed the band to Grimmjow who took it and put it on without saying anything. Byakuya looked at him with a curious look. "You have no problem with this."

Grimmjow shrugged. "I was ready to bring him before I was assured I'd be safe from you people," he said with a shrug. "Look, I got nothing. I figure that helping him was something. I don't fucking know why."


	3. Bonding the Dragon

Chapter Three

Bonding the Dragon

Grimmjow had fallen asleep while the Shinigami were trying to deal with Ichigo's current state. He had no idea why he was still here. He wasn't even sure what he intended to do. He spent several hours just sitting there and listening to these doctors and researches arguing over what had happened. He liked this Kaoru fellow.

Unohana stared at the readings and the looked over at where Ichigo lay unconscious still. She'd had no choice but to put him into stasis. Kaoru had arrived and he, Unohana, Urahara, and Kurotsuchi were all trying to come up with some way to fix what had happened to Ichigo. So far, they weren't getting anything positive. Grimmjow continued to listen, seemingly having been forgotten in the other side of the room.

"Why would anyone do this?" he growled as he stood with his hands over Ichigo's inert form. Spirit energy surrounded him as he worked over his body. "These effects are…this is not okay…"

"What do you mean, Kaoru-san?" Urahara asked from where he looked at the cylinders of liquid standing on the table nearby.

"Yo, man, look, this stuff is gnarly, like I said…but what this is doing to this guy? You said he's human and Shinigami?" Kaoru said with a narrowed glance.

"He is…somewhat of a hybrid," Unohana provided with a nod.

Kaoru sighed. "There…there's nothing I can do for sure, I've done the technique I refined several times," he said and glanced at Ichigo's form.

"So, the problem is continuous," Urahara said with a sigh as he stood up from looking over a set of test tubes.

Kaoru nodded. "The reishi cleansing technique worked, to a degree. It cleansed the addictive junk from him physically, but the hollow nature of his Zanpakutō is the problem."

"He can't produce hollow spiritual energy on his own any longer," Kurotsuchi confirmed, looking over it. "Whatever that stuff did to him, it completely destroyed his ability to manufacture his own hollow reiatsu. He still has the spiritual energy of Shinigami, but since his Zanpakutō is hollow in nature…"

Unohana nodded. "That's why he goes into convulsions moments after being awakened from stasis. His Zanpakutō is drawing all his strength, and he can't handle the strain on his soul form."

"So what do we do?" Urahara asked, standing and rubbing the back of his neck.

"We could try infusing more Shinigami power into him, like you had thought of doing to restore his full Shinigami power," Kaoru said as he looked at them. "There's a chance it might jack up his hollow power reserves."

"What if it doesn't work?" Urahara asked with a sigh. "We can't leave him in permanent stasis."

"We have to find a way to provide a continuous stream of hollow energy to him," Unohana said as she looked around at them.

They heard Grimmjow clear his throat as he stood up from where he'd fallen asleep in a chair. "I might have a way for that to happen," he said with a shrug.

All four of the others looked up at him with a curious glance. "What do you mean?"

Grimmjow sighed. "Ah, there's a way to share spiritual energy with another, hollows I mean, we can do that. Like, feed our energy to someone else. Generally another hollow."

Kurotsuchi frowned and stared at him. "What is this? I've never seen this."

Grimmjow sighed. "I have to ask him if he wants to try it, though, so wake him up."

"We can't do that, you need to do it while he's in stasis," Urahara said with a hard glance at him.

"Even I'm not that much of an asshole," Grimmjow growled and crossed his arms.

"What does it entail?" Unohana asked.

Grimmjow sighed. "We can bond ourselves to another hollow. It's permanent. Can't be undone. Can't do it again. But…" he trailed off.

"But?" Kaoru asked with a frown.

"Um, it…it's a mating thing. Like, he…like a mate."

Urahara blinked. "A mating ritual? I didn't think hollows had that sort of thing?"

"It's complicated," Grimmjow said with a huff. "We don't do it often. But we all know how to do it. Only evolved hollows take a bond-mate."

"You think it would work, though?" Urahara asked.

"The whole point is to ensure the mate doesn't die. The stronger your spirit energy the longer you live. So we bolster it. Usually, we don't do it because it can be questionable as far as results. But I'm an Espada. I can handle the drain," he said with a shrug.

"But he needs more than just a steady trickle, he needs a reasonable infusion of power on a regular basis since he can't manufacture the hollow energy alone," Kaoru pointed out.

Grimmjow shifted. "Yeah, that happens pretty easy."

Urahara was the first to catch on. "During an orgasm," he said, eyes going wide. "You release a massive burst of reiatsu in place of genetic material. That makes sense!"

Kaoru and Unohana turned to stare at him then back to Grimmjow who nodded. "Yeah. It's…pretty impressive and dependent on power level. We don't do anything half assed. Fighting or fucking, it's all an expression of power."

"So when you say you need to ask him…" Urahara said with a nod. "I see, um, shall we adjourn to the next room, and let Grimmjow have a discussion with our dear Ichigo-kun."

"Are you sure we shouldn't try something else first?" Kurotsuchi asked, surprised.

"The rate he's deteriorating, even in stasis, is alarming. If there is a way to supplant his hollow energy now, then we need to act, or at least give him the choice. We can bolster his Shinigami power, but we can do nothing for the hollow energy," Urahara said as they moved into an adjoining office, leaving Ichigo and Grimmjow alone. He reached over and flipped down a monitor from the mobile cart he had been pushing. "We'll watch, and ensure nothing goes wrong."

"Right on," Kaoru said with a smirk.

Unohana sighed and went in to see Grimmjow had sat down by the bed. She looked at him. "I don't know how long before he starts convulsing. Whatever you're going to do, do so quickly." She removed the stasis and left, pulling the door closed behind her.

Grimmjow heard Ichigo groan and smirked as he opened his eyes and stared at him. "I feel terrible," he muttered.

"Yeah, they fucked you up something good," Grimmjow said. "But we ain't got much time. I got a way to help ya, but you gotta agree to it first."

Ichigo sat up slowly and looked at him. "What's that?" he slurred.

"They said yer hollow Zanpakutō is fucking you up, that drug removed your ability to make hollow reiatsu. So, ya need it to survive. I can share mine," Grimmjow said with a nod.

"Share it?" Ichigo asked, rubbing his forehead. Everything hurt on him at the moment.

Grimmjow nodded. "I can bond ya to me. We don't do it much, but it works out sometimes. Em, then there's a way to give you large infusions of it, too."

"Bond?" Ichigo asked, looking down to see his hands were starting to tremble already.

"Like takin' a mate. We can do it once in our lives, however long they are," he said and looked up. Grimmjow frowned as he reached up and wiped blood that was dripping from Ichigo's nose. "Then, you know, fucking releases reiatsu into our mate."

Ichigo blinked. "Wait, you can only do it once? Why would you want to do that for me? You want to do that with someone you love!" he said with wide eyes.

Grimmjow sighed and shook his head. "Maybe I want to, fucking idiot. Now you want to do this with me or not, you fucking brat, because let me tell you what," Grimmjow said as he stood up to stand over Ichigo. He stared up at him. "You fight good enough for me, and you ain't gonna let me get away with shit. But I'll punish you if you step out of line, too, so you want to take that on, brat? You go get yerself fucked up again, I'll make you regret the day you agreed to this…" he growled close to Ichigo's face.

Ichigo couldn't help the inhuman sound that came out of his mouth at Grimmjow's closeness. Grimmjow's smirk spread across his face as he slid his hand under the yukata Ichigo was wearing. "Does that answer my question?" he muttered, finding Ichigo more than aroused. "So what's the answer?"

Ichigo nodded, eyes locked on Grimmjow's. "Yeah, take me, make me yours," he breathed out.

Ichigo hadn't expected the speed as the next he knew he was bent over the bed he was just sitting on, and it seemed like Grimmjow's hands were all over him. He could already feel some sort of energy surrounding them. He gasped as the yukata split down the back from one of Grimmjow's claws. He realized as Grimmjow grabbed his face that he'd released his resurrección. He panted both from the sheer exertion of staying awake and the blood rushing to his cock.

"Might hurt a bit, brat," Grimmjow growled as he leaned over and began to lick and suck on the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Before Ichigo could say anything he yelped as Grimmjow bit down hard. He reached up and grabbed his head, feeling the strangest sensations running throughout his body.

"Ah, Grimmjow…ah…what…" he gasped out in shock as his body tried to jerk in his grip.

Grimmjow merely growled into the flesh he had gripped in his teeth. Ichigo moaned as Grimmjow's hand slid down and two of his fingers penetrated him at once. It stung, but then again, Ichigo was used to that sort of treatment and worse. He panted, hands still in Grimmjow's hair, but for some reason, the pain was turning into something else entirely…

He let out a low, long moan as he felt Grimmjow's fingers slide out to be replaced by something much harder and thicker. For a moment, he was frozen in place, Grimmjow's teeth piercing his neck, and his cock buried inside him. It couldn't have been very long but then the world sped up once again. Ichigo felt Grimmjow's teeth release and he fell forward onto the bed, both hands grabbing at the sheets. Grimmjow growled out loud and Ichigo felt those claws grip into his hips. He felt blood running down his legs as he began a ruthlessly hard rhythm into him. Despite the pain from Grimmjow's teeth and claws, Ichigo knew he was going to crest soon. Something was different, and he could feel it coursing through him.

 _Let go, King…._ He heard in his mind for the first time a long time. _We're here for you._

Ichigo nearly screamed as he went over. Grimmjow's claws tightened in his hips but that just made it last longer, he found as though he was never going to stop orgasming. Grimmjow slammed forward into him a couple more times, then he felt him go over. There was a snapping sound all around, and if Ichigo had been aware, he would have known it was a barrier that someone had erected around the outside of the room they were in. As soon as he went over, bright blue energy expanded out and back into them both, and Ichigo immediately felt like there was a link between them now. He cried out as he hit another crest, one he hadn't even realized was coming, as Grimmjow leaned over him, clutching him tightly and thrusting through the second orgasm that hit him.

As he came down, he realized he'd moved. Grimmjow was sitting in the larger chair in the corner and had pulled Ichigo into his lap. Grimmjow had wrapped him up in a sheet and was clutching him now, languidly licking at the still bleeding wound on his neck. Ichigo couldn't think about anything now, though. He turned and nuzzled into Grimmjow's neck again and fell asleep immediately.

In the next room, the four Shinigami stared. "Holy shit, dude…did you see those readings?" Kaoru said with wide eyes as he glanced between the monitors. "The amount of reiatsu that he just released…"

"With a dampener on," Urahara commented, glancing at the others. "He did that with a dampener equipped. That dampener reduces Grimmjow's ability to access his power by half."

"But look," Unohana said as she looked over the readings. "Ichigo's power levels are stable. After the spike and absorption, they level out. Look, there is a dip, here," she said pointing to a spot where Grimmjow had moved them. "But you can see Grimmjow wasn't lying. There's a steady, low level infusion link of energy between them. Ichigo's energy is dropping, but at a much slower rate. We'll have to monitor him for the next day before we can determine what exactly this will mean for him. Contact Shiba-san. Let him know we have found a possible long term solution."

Urahara looked at the monitor where Ichigo had fallen into a sleep on Grimmjow's lap. The sheet was somewhat stained with blood where Grimmjow's claws had cut him, but he saw something that made him smile.

"Urahara-san, what is it?" Kaoru said as he looked at the monitor.

"He wasn't playing a game at all. He came from Hueco Mundo for Ichigo to start with. That's why he suggested something like this. He wanted it to start with. I believe he came here with the intent to garner Ichigo's affection." Urahara watched as Grimmjow's face softened and he ran his fingers through Ichigo's hair. "Can we get a space for them? Somewhere we can monitor them, but outside of the fourth? We need to be able to ward it against that energy release."

Unohana nodded. "I'll set something up." She paused and looked at him. "You realize that Ichigo may not be as happy about the situation as we hope once his life isn't on the line."

"Oh, I'm sure he won't be. I think Grimmjow has a lot of work cut out for him over the next few weeks if he wants Ichigo to be amenable to his affections," Urahara said with a sigh.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

"King?" came Shiro's voice.

Ichigo opened his eyes and stared at his white copy. He was lying on one of the buildings, stark naked save the wound against his neck. Shiro ran hands over his chest and smiled at him. "There ya are king," he said with a smirk.

Ichigo looked at him. "Shiro?" he asked and reached up to touch his face.

"Ya, King. I see ya got yerself back now," he said and leaned forward to kiss his King forcefully for a long time. "Hmm, I missed ya."

Ichigo let him kiss before he sighed. "I messed it all up, Shiro," he said before he put both hands over his eyes. "I almost…what I did, Shiro…"

"Hush, now, King," Shiro said as he pulled his hands away from his face. "I forgive ya, King, I do, okay? No matter what's happened out there, in here ya belong to me, and no matter how many filthy humans touched ya, it never touched ya here."

"But Grimmjow…" he whispered and locked eyes on Shiro.

"Grimmjow's fine," Shiro said. "He's powerful, and he fixed the problem that was gonna kill us," he whispered as he snuggled against Ichigo. "I'll be here when ya need me. But I think he's gonna be takin' care of all those needs we haven't been."

"You were enough, before," Ichigo whispered, rubbing the wetness from his face. "And when you were gone, when I didn't have you…and they left me alone…I couldn't handle it…"

Shiro shushed him and put his fingers against Ichigo's lips. "Don do that, King. Don. It don't matter what happened out there. It's over now, and ya got me in here, and ya got him out there, so now…we're good."

The inner world faded and Ichigo woke in the real one with a sigh. The sharp pain that shot up his spine made him yelp, though.

"Ah, motherfucking son of a bitch!" he said as he tried to sit up.

A hand squeezed the inside of his thigh tight and he heard a grumbled, "Shut up, brat," as he opened his eyes again.

"Let me go," Ichigo groused as he reached down to push Grimmjow's hand off his thigh. "Fuck!"

Ichigo's head cleared and he realized he was sitting in the large chair that had been put in the room in the fourth. Grimmjow had obviously fallen asleep too, and he had just awoken when Ichigo shouted. Ichigo felt his hand tighten and he growled in response.

"Why the fuck did you have to be so rough," Ichigo whined and finally pushed off his lap to his feet. "My fucking hips hurt," he muttered as he moved the sheet to see the claw marks in his hips.

"Sorry," Grimmjow said as he sat up. "I had to be in resurrección to forge the bond. Claws tend to get in the way."

Ichigo wrapped the bloodied sheet around him tightly. He wasn't sure what to think yet. "Why?" he asked as he turned to him.

Grimmjow arched blue brow. "What do you mean, why, brat?"

"Why did you do this?"

"Because you were dying," Grimmjow said as though it should have been obvious.

"But now…"

"Yer mine, that's what," Grimmjow said as he got up and moved toward him. "And I wasn't kiddin' when I said what I said. This ain't some weird marriage. This is a bond that can't be undone."

Ichigo glared at him. "Well, you better not expect me to be some little wife or something."

Grimmjow arched a brow. "If I wanted a little wife, I coulda had a few already. I ain't hitching myself for life to some whiney, wimpy little bitch. Ya ain't either."

Ichigo started as the door opened with a strange popping sound like a seal being broken. He saw Urahara and Unohana come in together.

"Ichigo-kun, glad to see you awake, can Unohana attend to the wounds you acquired during your…ah…encounter?" Urahara said with a smirk.

Ichigo growled. "You watched, did you, you old pervert?"

Urahara looked shocked. "I only kept an eye on things in case something went wrong."

Ichigo snorted. "Yeah, whatever," he muttered as he sat down on the bed and let Unohana heal the gouges in his hips.

"I wouldn't recommend that degree of ferocity the next time," Unohana commented. "Blood loss could be an issue at some point, though I believe Ichigo's natural ability to staunch blood may be of benefit."

"Next time?" Ichigo said and looked up.

"Grimmjow, it seems you were correct. The bond you forged provides a steady influx of hollow energy. Ichigo, the drug seemed to have stopped you from being able to produce your own hollow spiritual energy. You still have your other energies, but the hollow signature is simply gone. Grimmjow's bond is providing some, but it isn't enough to compensate completely."

"So, the burst infusions will be necessary on a regular basis," Unohana said. "That is the only solution now that I can see."

"Burst infusions?" Ichigo said.

"The sex," Grimmjow said as he came up and put both hands on Ichigo's shoulders. "That's an infusion of spiritual energy from me to you."

"I don't like this," Ichigo growled under his breath and crossed his arms, but he didn't move to shove Grimmjow back.

"Well, it was the best choice, and one you agreed to, Ichigo," Unohana said, looking at him with concern that he might now have regrets.

"I know," Ichigo sighed. "I just…after everything…I didn't get to make a real choice anyway, and all because I screwed everything up to start with," he said with a sigh. "You should have just let me die like that. After the things I did, what I am now, I can't go back to being the person I used to be…"

"Son, don't say such things," Isshin's voice came from the doorway.

Ichigo looked up and he felt tears immediately. "I'm sorry, Pop," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I…messed up, and…"

Isshin sighed and moved to embrace him. "Son, don't. Don't. You did something very human, and we should have realized how much pain you were in. I know I should have done more to help you. I'm sorry I didn't."

Ichigo nodded and hugged Isshin in return. Grimmjow stepped back and looked down. He wasn't sure how Isshin would see the new relationship he'd created with Ichigo. But no matter what, Ichigo was his to take care of. Ichigo was his responsibility from now on. He looked up and locked eyes on Isshin who was staring at him over Ichigo's shoulder.

"What is this they tell me that Grimmjow bonded to you?" Isshin said as he stepped back and looked at Ichigo.

Ichigo swallowed. "Ah, he did something, I don't understand it all yet, but he is giving me part of his spiritual energy across the link. Otherwise, I can't make that kind of energy. That stuff, that drug, it messed up my ability to make hollow signature reiatsu. So, now I'm stuck getting it from him, or I'll die."

Isshin nodded. "Are you okay with that?"

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, he gave up the chance to ever bond with anyone else. He can't do it again now. So, that was a huge sacrifice for me. I don't deserve it, what he's done to save me…"

"Oi," Grimmjow said and put his hands back on Ichigo's shoulders. "Don't say shit like that. I did what I wanted to do, brat. And if I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have mentioned it to the doctor woman. So, shut up about that didn't deserve it shit."

Isshin smirked. "Yes, son, please. You deserve another chance. You made a mistake, but it doesn't mean you don't deserve to live."

"I…Pop, you don't know half the things I did, so you can't say that," Ichigo said as he stared at his hands.

Isshin sighed. "I know you were addicted to drugs, son. And I know that if I had realized how much pain you were in, I would have been able to help. But I didn't want to think that you were in pain. I should have known better. I gave up my powers for your mother, but I had her to help me. You didn't have anyone, and that was my fault."

"Don't do that," Ichigo said. "Don't make it seem like it wasn't my fault. I chose to do the things I did. I chose to take pills, and to use needles. I chose to…to resort to trading myself for drugs when I didn't have money. I chose to let strangers…" Ichigo's voice broke and he couldn't stem the flood of tears then. "Pop, you shouldn't even be near me, I'm filthy, disgusting for what I did. All for a drug to forget my pain, I…"

"Son, nothing you did changes how much I love you…" Isshin said and tried to put his hands on Ichigo's shoulders.

Ichigo shoved him backward. "No! You don't understand what I did or you wouldn't say that!"

"Please, Ichigo, I don't care what…" Isshin started to say and stepped back a bit.

"No! I let guys fuck me just to get a hit, one hit, and then did it again! And I have no idea how many and how many times! I let it happen, and I begged for it! It didn't matter what they wanted, I did it, no matter how depraved and disgusting…and I asked for it if I got a hit! I'm not worth your love or devotions! I'm not worth…" he said with his fists balled at his sides.

Grimmjow moved then, and wrapped both arms around him from behind. "Stop," he said, and the tone of his voice, and the command in the word, forced Ichigo's mouth to freeze. He reached up with both hands and clasped them on Grimmjow's as his mouth worked for a second. "Don't say those things about yourself. I was down there. I met the other _Rinkan-bō_ that those bastards had addicted to that shit. You weren't the only one they hurt. You are worth more than you think, and I won't let you say those things about yourself."

Ichigo's face changed from an expression of sadness into pure rage at the fact that Grimmjow had just forced a command onto him. He twisted out of his grip and turned to stare at him before he pulled back a fist and punched him.

Grimmjow blinked, first noting how weak the punch was, and second noting how surprised Ichigo's father looked at the action. Grimmjow's face split into a smirk. "Ah, no good, brat. What'd I tell ya bout being like that?"

"Don't you fucking do that to me again!" Ichigo growled. "The fuck did you do?"

"Command. That link lets me do it. I can command you when I need to do it. So, shut the fuck up for a minute," Grimmjow growled.

Ichigo started to say something but found he couldn't. He snarled in frustration and shoved himself off the table and went to the back of the room to turn his back on everyone else in a pout. Isshin looked at Grimmjow with concern.

"You can command him?" he asked.

Grimmjow nodded, glancing back at Ichigo. "It's a safety measure to ensure the submissive, beta for want of a better term, doesn't do something dangerous."

"I'm sure you can understand my worry about the fact you can command him to do whatever you want," Isshin said, eyes on Grimmjow's blue ones.

Grimmjow nodded. "Look, I didn't do this because I wanted ta be an asshole. I asked him, and he agreed ta it. Granted, it was a no win situation. But either way, I didn't do it because I wanted to be in control over him for no reason. I want him to be happy," Grimmjow said and sighed. "It's weird, and I can't explain it well, okay? I came to find him, because I thought I might, y'know, get to know him and see what came of it. I liked his fighting spirit, and when I found out what those assholes did to him, knocking him down that way, I realized I might have…feelings. Which is fucked up, hollow and all. But what Aizen-teme did to us, he changed us with the hogyuku, and we became closer to Shinigami."

Grimmjow paused to see Ichigo was still pouting. He could sense the frustration in the link between them. "I ain't gonna do anything he don't wanna do, I promise that. But he needs someone to take control now and then, because he must let go of it. I don't think he even knows it, but I could feel it when I claimed him, this need to be the source of other people's strength but also wanting to just be, with no demands, so I wanna give him that."

Isshin nodded. "I think I understand. I will make arrangements with Kisuke to have an apartment readied for you both when you return from Soul Society. You will have to learn human ways, and you will have to learn to fit into our world. Ichigo won't want to stay in Soul Society, I know that. He won't want to be far from his sisters."

Grimmjow nodded. "I know. Wherever he wants to be, I'll be there for him."

Isshin nodded and excused himself, followed by Unohana and Urahara, leaving the two of them alone again. Grimmjow smirked ad walked up behind Ichigo. He grabbed him by the arm and spun him around. Ichigo looked at him with wide eyes at the action.

"That was not nice, Ichi."

"Fuck you," Ichigo growled and tried to pull away.

"Nuh uh, you don't remember what I said? I said I'd punish you for something like that," he muttered as he pulled Ichigo closer.

"What are you going to do, spank me?" Ichigo sniped at him.

Grimmjow's face shifted into a smile and Ichigo shook his head. "Wait, no, don't…"

Before Ichigo could say more, Grimmjow had dropped into the chair and pulled Ichigo over his lap. He pressed down on his shoulders to keep him in place as he flipped the sheet up over is ass. Ichigo struggled at bit, but he was more surprised than anything, especially as Grimmjow proceeded to follow through on the threat. After he'd laid about twenty good swats on Ichigo's ass, Ichigo was gasping and trying not to sob as Grimmjow slipped his hand over the hot flesh. The fact that Ichigo's cock was digging into his leg throughout the process didn't help his own amusement. He snagged Ichigo up to straddle his lap, tucking his head under his chin.

Ichigo was equally surprised by how aroused he was and the fact that Grimmjow had actually just turned him over his lap and spanked him like a child. He clutched him, not sure what was more surprising.

"See, I figured that you were going to be a brat," Grimmjow muttered as he slipped his hand under Ichigo's ass. The skin was still radiating heat. "So, when you are a brat, I'm gonna turn your bratty ass over my knee and spank you red, understand me?"

Ichigo nodded into his chest, still panting. Grimmjow reached between them and began stroking Ichigo slowly. "But if you're a good boy for me," he said as Ichigo began to dig his nails into his back. "I'll make sure you get rewarded too, hmm," he said as he felt Ichigo coming closer to the edge as he held one hand on his waist to keep him from sliding off his lap. "But I think that's the way you like this, isn't it? Having to be told what to do now and then, then being punished for being a brat," Grimmjow said as he kept stroking him and kissing at the mark on his neck.

"Ah, yes, I'm close…" he muttered as Grimmjow kept his hand moving on him.

"Go on, Ichi, you were a good boy for me," he whispered into Ichigo's ear before he began sucking at his earlobe.

That was all it took to send Ichigo over with a low moan as he clung to Grimmjow's shoulders. Grimmjow wiped his hand on the sheet and pulled him snug against hi body. He sighed and clutched him.

"I made the choice, and I won't let you hurt yourself again. No matter what," he said into Ichigo's ear. "I'm gonna keep you safe, from the world, and from yerself, understand?"

Ichigo nodded but Grimmjow could feel the dampness spreading in his shirt. He shifted and looked at Ichigo's face. "What is it?"

"Why would you want me?" Ichigo whispered. "I mean, I'm not the person you fought in those battles you loved so much. I'm fucked up and broken now, a drug addicted whore…"

Grimmjow put a finger to Ichigo's lips. "Don't say those things, Ichi. Don't. I knew everything that happened, and it didn't matter, I still bonded you, so don't say those things. Just because you did some things that people think are bad? No, it doesn't make you bad. It makes you human."

Ichigo nodded and leaned into him, swallowing a thick ball in his throat. Was he right? Was he more than what he'd become on the streets?


End file.
